SURVIVAL-SIMPLE SAD SURVIVAL

I have to agree. Over the years I’ve learned that the words of others mean nothing except from a very few select people. It doesn’t matter what kind of words either. Could be simple words like, “I’ll call you later, or “Don’t worry I’ll come by to help you out, “I’ll take care of that” or more important words like “I love you”, or “I’ll always be here for you.” I’ve learned to expect nothing from anyone then I won’t get let down. I won’t get hurt. This is not a OH WOE IS ME kind of thing either and I don’t hold any anger against anyone. For me, it’s simple survival. I just can’t take it physically, emotionally or spiritually anymore. I used to be stronger and could deal with things better. I still understand we all let each other down but in the past I could forgive, forget and move on fairly quickly. Not anymore. Now it knocks me out for days. For whatever reason it actually makes me physically sick, emotionally drained and affects my prayer life. I can’t stop crying for days and I have even more and worse nightmares. Maybe it’s my age, maybe it’s all the scars of past let downs. I don’t know but what I do know is that for my health and sanity I have to protect myself by not expecting anything from anyone even though I still love them deeply. So for now, if I need something I try to do it or get it done without asking someone else for help or I just do without if possible. It’s Survival……simple but sad survival.